Church Thoughts......

I have often wondered and wondering now...whatever happened to church as I knew it?  I have come to the conclusion that people as they age want things to remain like they were...certain things at least.  The things that made them comfortable.  We are after all what we have lived....  as much as what we live.  When I was little I went to an old style country Methodist Church.  That "dinosaur" is a thing of the past.  That little church that served the members and the community as it faded away is a thing of the past.  The sixties came and they literally tore the building down and paved the lot for parking...  I miss that church.  After that, in the sixties, I attended a very "milk toast" church.  No spirit there at all...  Just folks coming in to do their time on Sunday morning.  The only real "spirit" in the sense of knowing God was there was in the heart of the organist/pianist and her family.  The rest were just well "doing their time".  Then came the seventies (have you guessed my age  yet?).  In the seventies the Nazarenes came to town.  The little church in Alfred Station with the poverty pitching preacher that bent over backwards hauling "sheep" in but did not know how to deal with them when they got there. His heart was in the right place as he did the best he knew how...which ended him up now in Florida I think.  :)  That church is gone.  But; I learned from that church what sticks with me today.  I learned that God was meant to be shared....  Don't hide the light under a bushel.  You should be out there sharing and inviting folks to share the "love" with you.  As I tell my granddaughter now all the time, she being six, if you hold anger in your heart you are taking up the space that "love" needs.  Afterall; hearts are for loving.  So while the drama of it all was intimidating and a big put off at the time; now I miss that.  I can't find it anywhere.  Where did "church" go.  If that is the church I seek, the church of my youth so to speak, where is it? 

After highschool I ended up back what was then the new Methodists....milk toast with sugar...  Folks who drank and partied on Saturday night and came in to do their very routine and "guessable" church on Sunday morning with the sermon from the barrel written years before...nothing spontaneous...    This compared to everything made up as it went along in High School's Nazarene Church.  That ended badly.  When the preacher's family disowned me as a friend the church literally drove me out.  Left a bad taste in my mouth to say the least and I did no church for many years.  Then; about eight years later I began looking again.  I tried again Nazarenes whose first impression was that my three little boys were going to you know where (before the age of five) if I did not "dedicate" them to the power of the church...  Sigh... again... I walked away....  Remembering I sought them. Noone ever reached out to me in adulthood for church purposes short of Mormons and Jehovah's witnesses going door to door.  I tried a few others spending a long time with the Continuing Congregationalists here in New England.  The key being again that "I" sought them out and had it pointed out to me regular initially that they did not know what to do with us because noone had ever sought them.  Again I ask....where is the religion of my youth?  What happened to sharing God and reaching out?  Well I fought to fit in that church for a good ten years with NEVER an invitation to join that church as a member.  I finally got my old Methodist membership of my own volition and transferred it to there...where it sits today.  I don't sit there however anymore.  I finally gave up.  Ten years of trying to feel at home finally ended...  Guess I am difficult? 

So that brings us to the present.  The present is where I sit.  I can honestly say that in 33 years in New England states, CT to be exact, the only "religions" that have reached out and solicited or shared God (their version granted) with me are as follows...  The Mormons (door to door) but they quit coming some years ago...  The Jehovah's Witnesses who have all but quit, and believe it or not the Catholics.  I forgot to mention that I had my boys in Parochial school for mega years without ever getting an invitation to be part of that church.  Now; my granddaughter is in parochial school in another town.  Believe it or not that "Father" is the first man of the cloth to reach out and offer to share his religion with open arms to my family in over thirty years.  Perhaps that is the direction I am meant to go.  You see I have looked....  and lookd...and tried and tried.  Obviously I have done something wrong ...my technique is lacking...my heart is deficient... I don't know.  But; well if it were a contest for the one branch that reached the furthest to try and fit us in a church family it would be the Catholics....  Thanks Father Tito.  Religion is alive and well in my part of CT in the heart of a Catholic Priest and a small group of Sisters.  Don't know what happend to religion in this state but it is well hidden....not like where I grew up....  Maybe it's afraid of the "son light"?

Melody

Oh Freedom...

Ran across this today and wanted to share it. It is said to have been authored by Sarah Shepherd, mother of Ella Shepherd first pianist with Fisk Jubilee Singers ...also believed that she authored Swing Low Sweet Chariot...

O’ Freedom!

O’ freedom! O’ freedom!

O’ freedom over me!

And before I'd be a slave

I'll be buried in my grave

And go home to my Lord and be free

No more moanin'!  No more moanin’!

No more moanin’ over me

And before I’d be a slave

I’ll be buried in my grave

And go home to my Lord and be free

There'll be singin'

There’ll be singin’

There’ll be singin’ over me

And before I’d be a slave

I’ll be buried in my grave

And go home to my Lord and be free

There'll be shoutin'

There’ll be shoutin’

There’ll be shoutin’ over me

And before I’d be a slave

I’ll be buried in my grave

And go home to my Lord and be free

O’ freedom!  O’ freedom!

O’ freedom over me!

And before I'd be a slave

I'll be buried in my grave

And go home to my Lord and be free

Hindsight &/or Regrets?

Regrests:  Yes; I have had a few....as the song goes..  But; anyhow; here goes:

Have you ever had unfinished "things" from your post come back to haunt you?  Are there words &/or deeds from someone important in your life years ago that come back to haunt you in the present for no particular reason?  I mean how do you handle it?  I have been through many things in my life as most folks have who hit the age I am. Some folks do go through more in a few years than others in 100 years. I mean we all know that.  But; as I approach 56 years old... I am wondering why NOW things are bothering me almost more than when they happened 35 years plus ago?  Lets say for example for the sake of comparison... I went through things that were "crimes" without going into detail.  I got over those and let them go.  They don't alter my life.  But; there are things...words and deeds performed by others that impacted me...that have come back to haunt me.  They make me think now...yes NOW....like I did not think then.  I am thinking there was apparently much left unsaid.  Sometimes I am tempted to say them now.  But; I guess we are not supposed to do that.  Let sleeping dogs lie I guess.  I mean afterall; all folks are ultimately accountable in the end for their choices.  Someone somehow will hold them accountable afterall.  I guess the most important thing to do is think before we speak and act.  We never know not only how the things we do today will impact those around us today...but also more importantly, what the long long range affects might be. 

Long time since I have written here.  I hope to see some of you soon.

Melody

Long Time No Speak..... Children w/Special Needs....

  I ran into a little girl today.  OK; use the term loosely.  I wander...I digress.  I tend to believe more and more as I Grow older that I truly am an empath.  I want to cry around the frail elderly and have all I can do to prevent it.  Why?  They don't have to be in pain or anything but I pickup on something.  Something about the frailty?  I don't know.  I am a bleeding heart?  I don't know.  Just happens.  I can't help it.  I have spent so much time trying to figure it out.  All that said, back to the little girl.  She was six, I would have guessed five based on appearance.  She was almost without speech.  She hardly talked at all.  She could not talk.  I pondered what her disability might be as "I" "talked" to her....and she "talked" to me.  Her word of the day was "Home".  As she selected something from the shelves (with help) she would try to say "home" and she truly appeared to enjoy my attention and response to her.  So we spent a while at the bookshelves.  Her mother was a little ways down with another child younger and trying to watch them both.  Actually; both appeared to have some special needs...  Something I could not put my finger on.  Conversation with the mother minimally happened and I had an opportunity to query what the situation might be.  I questioned as to whether it was Autism.  The mother told me there was no label for it.  The doctors just did not know.  Further as we were standing there the mother told me that the little girl could see things that almost were not there.  So I watched a little more and realized the little girl from some distance was identifying books by the name on the spine of the book....  As soon as I realized this I told the mother "I think she is recognising words on the spines of the book (from some distance)".  I further told her that several members of my family read as well upside down as right side up!  She had never heard of this.  Anyhow; I pointed out to her that perhaps the little girl (who was obviously bright just could not speak hardly at all) was possibly reading and not only reading but reading sideways and upside down more or less.  Hopefully she will watch some and this will come to be of help.  This little girl was so sweet.  The mother said she had just seen another doctor yesterday, new one, for the first time.  Makes me pensively think how lucky we are with Iris.  How lucky so many folks are.  As that lady left the store, I was thinking...what a job she had....all those special needs children and she seemed to keep it together.  Made me want to give her a hug...

Melody

Just Grammie Mel: So Much On My Mind re: Military & Ft. Hood

Just Grammie Mel: So Much On My Mind re: Military & Ft. Hood

So Much On My Mind re: Military & Ft. Hood

I sit here since the "news" yesterday and I think.  So many memories come back at this time of year anyhow regarding the military what with Veteran's Day and all that I am very vulnerable to "bad" news re:  same.  Then today my husband gets a call with a personal invite to the Veteran's Day Dinner at the VFW on the 11th...  More memories crowd in.  I think about yesterday at Ft. Hood and am overwhelmed with sadness for those who made the ultimate sacrifice (and mind you that is a very key phrase here as they make sacrifices every minute of their lives for us) and the families they left behind.  I am reminded of the very bad years I had to deal with the military, in this case the Navy.  My "Navy" days are long gone...almost 20 years hubbie has been out now.  The memories however, mostly bad, are with me.  I can't really think of any really good memories of the military wife life.  I do have some meories of a few folks, like Dorothy & 'Mo Elmore that provide a rare bright spot in those memories.  I could go on and on...but I digress.

You see those folks who lost their lives at Fort Hood made the "Ultimate" sacrifice anyone could make...their lives.  They are trained to be prepared for that eventuality because of the nature of their chosen career obligations in the military.  But; I don't think anyone can prepare anyone for the sacrifices they make on a daily basis.  I will never forget the TOTAL disregard for family the Navey (military) showed during the years I dealt with them.  It's not enough to be far from family and friends but to have to be subjected to horrid caregivers in the military doing it just because it is their job...  Shades of socialized medicine not unlike what we will have with Obams's plan...and leadership that encourages men/women to divorce rather than have a spouse who wants to be a "spouse".  Wives/spouses in particular are so isolated.  They have nothing but income their spouse allots to them.  Friends and family are far away and in most cases clueless to what the individual lives everyday.  Everyday a military spouse lives with stresses most of us will never have ot live with.  Because there is no room for "Family" in the military the spouse left behind (military widow) is in effect a single parents struggling to cope with separation anxieties of her own, her children, and life in general ALONE.  In my day we could not even be in touch in any way shape form or manner when spouses were underway in fast attack submarines as much as 80 to 90% of the year.  When "home" they were virtually on call at all times standing port and starbord duty days often with no opportunity for adequate rest.  Children grow up with a parent (active duty military) who has little time for them and often is an alcoholic or alcohol abuser as a result of the stresses they live under.  Thanks goodness for underway or some of them would never sober up.  :)  Mom's who choose to have children have the degradation of giving birth in military hospitals which while the facilities are capable of grand things and have some of the best doctors in the planet are subjected to verbal abuse and uncaring indifferent caregivers.  They have the medical skills but show total disregard for the women as human beings.  E-nothings are allowed to "practice" on patients including newborn babies.  Doctors are allowed to and get away with lying to patients to get permission to practice procedures on a healthy newborn.  Women are left to suffer "barbaric" conditions for delivery (in the words of one civilian physician) because of the lack of caring.

Anyhow; all this said, and thinking on those that lost their lives on top of the routine coping they have to do on a daily basis, I ask all of you:  Do what you can to support our mliitary. If you know someone married to a military person at least be an "ear" for them.  Show them you care by listening.  Sometimes that listening ear is more important than anything.  Please don't just tell them "call your whatever" or look at all you have.  They give their lives for "what they have".  Many extended families are not only geographically unavailable but are emotionally unavailble.  I remember being told by my mother to "give him a call on the phone" when trying to get some stuff off my chest.  Yeah, right!  Telephone communication with a submarine was excellent in the 70's and 80's.  Just be available to those military you know.....They do give all ...

Perhaps things have changed for the better with the Navy and military life in general.  But; nothing can change the fact that the lives are  full of stress...  Stress that is best helped I think by having a listening caring ear...someone to run to.  Don't take for granted what an advantage that is..what a help.  It could make the difference in a bigger way than you ever will know.  I know it would have in my life.

Later!
Melody

PS:  I can't help but wonder why this man who committed, allegedly, the atrocities at Ft. Hood, was still there in place with the opportunity to do what he did.  That just reeks of a "problem" we may never ever be privvy too.

Twist on "Wear Purple"

When I'm Old I'll Wear Purple,...
We have all heard that tale....
Dressing in purple is not just a dare...

But; me I'll do things
that others might think...
childish, imprudent, and like an "infink"...
I'll play with my food, 'cause I want to
you see....
I'll sing at the table
and happy I'll be...

Some will say senile,
but childlike I'll be....
wearing my purple for all folks to see.

Grammie Mel