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6 years ago
Friday, November 6, 2009
So Much On My Mind re: Military & Ft. Hood
I sit here since the "news" yesterday and I think. So many memories come back at this time of year anyhow regarding the military what with Veteran's Day and all that I am very vulnerable to "bad" news re: same. Then today my husband gets a call with a personal invite to the Veteran's Day Dinner at the VFW on the 11th... More memories crowd in. I think about yesterday at Ft. Hood and am overwhelmed with sadness for those who made the ultimate sacrifice (and mind you that is a very key phrase here as they make sacrifices every minute of their lives for us) and the families they left behind. I am reminded of the very bad years I had to deal with the military, in this case the Navy. My "Navy" days are long gone...almost 20 years hubbie has been out now. The memories however, mostly bad, are with me. I can't really think of any really good memories of the military wife life. I do have some meories of a few folks, like Dorothy & 'Mo Elmore that provide a rare bright spot in those memories. I could go on and on...but I digress.
You see those folks who lost their lives at Fort Hood made the "Ultimate" sacrifice anyone could make...their lives. They are trained to be prepared for that eventuality because of the nature of their chosen career obligations in the military. But; I don't think anyone can prepare anyone for the sacrifices they make on a daily basis. I will never forget the TOTAL disregard for family the Navey (military) showed during the years I dealt with them. It's not enough to be far from family and friends but to have to be subjected to horrid caregivers in the military doing it just because it is their job... Shades of socialized medicine not unlike what we will have with Obams's plan...and leadership that encourages men/women to divorce rather than have a spouse who wants to be a "spouse". Wives/spouses in particular are so isolated. They have nothing but income their spouse allots to them. Friends and family are far away and in most cases clueless to what the individual lives everyday. Everyday a military spouse lives with stresses most of us will never have ot live with. Because there is no room for "Family" in the military the spouse left behind (military widow) is in effect a single parents struggling to cope with separation anxieties of her own, her children, and life in general ALONE. In my day we could not even be in touch in any way shape form or manner when spouses were underway in fast attack submarines as much as 80 to 90% of the year. When "home" they were virtually on call at all times standing port and starbord duty days often with no opportunity for adequate rest. Children grow up with a parent (active duty military) who has little time for them and often is an alcoholic or alcohol abuser as a result of the stresses they live under. Thanks goodness for underway or some of them would never sober up. :) Mom's who choose to have children have the degradation of giving birth in military hospitals which while the facilities are capable of grand things and have some of the best doctors in the planet are subjected to verbal abuse and uncaring indifferent caregivers. They have the medical skills but show total disregard for the women as human beings. E-nothings are allowed to "practice" on patients including newborn babies. Doctors are allowed to and get away with lying to patients to get permission to practice procedures on a healthy newborn. Women are left to suffer "barbaric" conditions for delivery (in the words of one civilian physician) because of the lack of caring.
Anyhow; all this said, and thinking on those that lost their lives on top of the routine coping they have to do on a daily basis, I ask all of you: Do what you can to support our mliitary. If you know someone married to a military person at least be an "ear" for them. Show them you care by listening. Sometimes that listening ear is more important than anything. Please don't just tell them "call your whatever" or look at all you have. They give their lives for "what they have". Many extended families are not only geographically unavailable but are emotionally unavailble. I remember being told by my mother to "give him a call on the phone" when trying to get some stuff off my chest. Yeah, right! Telephone communication with a submarine was excellent in the 70's and 80's. Just be available to those military you know.....They do give all ...
Perhaps things have changed for the better with the Navy and military life in general. But; nothing can change the fact that the lives are full of stress... Stress that is best helped I think by having a listening caring ear...someone to run to. Don't take for granted what an advantage that is..what a help. It could make the difference in a bigger way than you ever will know. I know it would have in my life.
Later!
Melody
PS: I can't help but wonder why this man who committed, allegedly, the atrocities at Ft. Hood, was still there in place with the opportunity to do what he did. That just reeks of a "problem" we may never ever be privvy too.
You see those folks who lost their lives at Fort Hood made the "Ultimate" sacrifice anyone could make...their lives. They are trained to be prepared for that eventuality because of the nature of their chosen career obligations in the military. But; I don't think anyone can prepare anyone for the sacrifices they make on a daily basis. I will never forget the TOTAL disregard for family the Navey (military) showed during the years I dealt with them. It's not enough to be far from family and friends but to have to be subjected to horrid caregivers in the military doing it just because it is their job... Shades of socialized medicine not unlike what we will have with Obams's plan...and leadership that encourages men/women to divorce rather than have a spouse who wants to be a "spouse". Wives/spouses in particular are so isolated. They have nothing but income their spouse allots to them. Friends and family are far away and in most cases clueless to what the individual lives everyday. Everyday a military spouse lives with stresses most of us will never have ot live with. Because there is no room for "Family" in the military the spouse left behind (military widow) is in effect a single parents struggling to cope with separation anxieties of her own, her children, and life in general ALONE. In my day we could not even be in touch in any way shape form or manner when spouses were underway in fast attack submarines as much as 80 to 90% of the year. When "home" they were virtually on call at all times standing port and starbord duty days often with no opportunity for adequate rest. Children grow up with a parent (active duty military) who has little time for them and often is an alcoholic or alcohol abuser as a result of the stresses they live under. Thanks goodness for underway or some of them would never sober up. :) Mom's who choose to have children have the degradation of giving birth in military hospitals which while the facilities are capable of grand things and have some of the best doctors in the planet are subjected to verbal abuse and uncaring indifferent caregivers. They have the medical skills but show total disregard for the women as human beings. E-nothings are allowed to "practice" on patients including newborn babies. Doctors are allowed to and get away with lying to patients to get permission to practice procedures on a healthy newborn. Women are left to suffer "barbaric" conditions for delivery (in the words of one civilian physician) because of the lack of caring.
Anyhow; all this said, and thinking on those that lost their lives on top of the routine coping they have to do on a daily basis, I ask all of you: Do what you can to support our mliitary. If you know someone married to a military person at least be an "ear" for them. Show them you care by listening. Sometimes that listening ear is more important than anything. Please don't just tell them "call your whatever" or look at all you have. They give their lives for "what they have". Many extended families are not only geographically unavailable but are emotionally unavailble. I remember being told by my mother to "give him a call on the phone" when trying to get some stuff off my chest. Yeah, right! Telephone communication with a submarine was excellent in the 70's and 80's. Just be available to those military you know.....They do give all ...
Perhaps things have changed for the better with the Navy and military life in general. But; nothing can change the fact that the lives are full of stress... Stress that is best helped I think by having a listening caring ear...someone to run to. Don't take for granted what an advantage that is..what a help. It could make the difference in a bigger way than you ever will know. I know it would have in my life.
Later!
Melody
PS: I can't help but wonder why this man who committed, allegedly, the atrocities at Ft. Hood, was still there in place with the opportunity to do what he did. That just reeks of a "problem" we may never ever be privvy too.
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